Good Friday

Current Soundtrack: Working as an Essential

I took a solo walk Friday, April 10^th. I HAD to move. It was an itch under my skin. My molecules were threatening to burst me into nonexistence, ala Thanos style.

My family asked me if I wanted to take the dogs. Nope. Did I want to take the kids? Nope.

Get out of my way. I want to be alone.

Was I an asshole? Eh…

Did I care? Nope…

I knew exactly where I was going. There’s a huge drainage ditch that runs under a basic bridge, connecting our neighborhood to the nearby highway. One of two exists from my life.

I trekked the 10ish minutes to the spot and decided how to begin my adventure as a troll.

I’m not a huge girl, but I’m not a small girl. I’m a stuck sitting for 8 hours a day at work and too exhausted, either physically or mentally, to work out when I get off or when I wake up, girl.

We had some rain last week, so while there was not much water in the pipes, the entrance to the pipe was covered by an inch or so of water. Well, so much for that I said. Then, something sparked in me, and I said, I can make the jump!

So, I jumped.

Part of me wishes I’d been standing behind me, catching this on camera. The other part of me is thrilled I wasn’t and that I was at the bottom of an embankment where, hopefully, no one saw this debacle.

So, I jumped, and I landed on the edge of the pipe, which unknown to me, was covered in algae/moss.

My left foot slipped off the pipe and into the bayou’s stream, sending the right foot sailing forward towards the middle of the pipe and would have landed me square on my ass if I hadn’t caught myself with my arms.

Getting upright was even MORE fun. Since the pipe was overlaid with moss, every time I tried to stand, I ended up slipping and sliding, dangerously close to having a mouth full of moss and saturated clothes.

I sustained minor, very long and red, scratches to my left calf and had two soaking wet feet. Mud and moss covered my legs. I was looking sexy, no doubt. Any Bridge Troll wouldn’t been lucky to have me.

I figured it out.   I lived.   I DID something.

I know this all probably sounds very silly and dumb. But to me, it was kind of a big deal. I took the leap (Ready Player One reference… Anyone?) quite literally, failed somewhat, but still made it.

Yep… this is how adventurous my life has been lately.

Here are a few pics I took:

I was texting a friend and they made a comment that their Friday was Meh.

Well, it is Good Friday

Maybe for you, sitting at home on your couch. For those of us that aren’t off, it sucks

So of course, I sent them this pic of where I was sitting. I was very proud that I was not, in fact, on my couch.

They were surprised I was there alone. Their immediate question was why, what’s wrong?

You know when you have people in your life that just get you?

We chatted and my takeaway was this: You’ve got to have a talk. This is eating you alive.

I couldn’t argue. My issue is I am much better with the written word than the spoken word. I can stare at a piece of paper, pen in hand and my thoughts will organize in a clear and concise manner.

If I’m staring at you in the face, my thoughts stream buzz by highspeed like the Stock market ticker: How do I say this? What are the right words? Am I angry? I don’t want to hurt you. Am I happy? Should I be happy? Are you happy?  

I woke up Saturday morning, and had a TALK.

And you’re right, when you say you need to have a TALK, it’s never good news.

I’ll sum it up, since I’ve been so longwinded today.

I’m not in love anymore.    My heart isn’t in it.    We’re great friends.    It’s not enough.    I’m not happy.

Words to Live By… Words to Die By… ~ Cheers

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